Things are going very well!

I'm pleased to report that this has been one of the greatest weeks I've had in a long time, where my plan is concerned. Not only did I refuse cake, but I also refused ice cream! I have been able to step up my workout resistance level to medium, and have burned a lot of calories. That said, my weight as of this morning was....274! Yep! In 4 days I managed to lose 10 lbs! I just want to keep this momentum going! Yay!

The holidays have come and gone and I'm 10 lbs heavier because of it

Constance's idea of how Christmas in NC and New Years would go: Eat perfect every day, work out and only allow for leniency on Christmas Day and New Years Day, lose 10 lbs and be in the 260's.

What Really happened: Eat whatever and drink whatever I want, no working out because I'm sick and can't breathe, gain 18 lbs and emotional eat.



That's right, I arrived in NC weighing 274 and I left NC weighing 292. I was so upset. Yet I could not stop myself from eating. It started with my best friend's birthday dinner the night before our flight. I ate cake and cookies, and didn't care because I knew I would do "great" over the holidays. The next day, I had lunch at the airport, and something from starbucks, and it was down hill from there. I won't go into detail of all the things that I ate, but I will say that what hurt me was not having a game plan before I left. I don't know what I thought would happen. I suppose I hoped that magically I would have the will power to turn my nose up to the yams, and the ham, and the pound cake. I was sadly delusional. On top of all that, half way through the trip, I decided that enough was enough and I wanted to walk on my father's treadmill. Not 10 minutes after I had been on, I realized that I couldn't work out sick. I felt like someone who had been a smoker for years, and was now suffering with the effects of smoker's cough. It was horrible. So what did I do? Went down stairs and grabbed some banana pudding.

All was not lost though. I have a better understanding of my limits, and the need for game plans. I also have a new motivator. My girlfriends and I are all around the same weight, so we have started a friendly competition called the BFBLC (Best Friends Biggest Loser Challenge). It's exciting! Every Monday we share our weights, and at the end of the month, whoever has lost the most will earn a blouse from the others and a non-food activity. At the end of August, we will get together and go on a weekend getaway. I can't wait!

There was something else that I wanted to point out. I had something happen to me last night that has not occurred in months. I emotionally ate. My husband and I had a disagreement, and what did I do? Instead of writing my feelings down, I grabbed a bowl of cereal and put some animal crackers in it. Then I ate a piece of lemon cake. I probably would have eaten more had there been more in the house. My husband doesn't know that happened, but due to the nature of the disagreement, I was feeling so worthless, and non-caring about what I did, that I grabbed what doubled for me as a comfort and a punishment. A comfort because it calmed me down, and a punishment because I was feeling like a failure for the holidays. However, I'm not a failure. If this was two years ago, I would have jumped off the weight loss band wagon and stayed off. I'm in a different place now, spiritually, mentally, and physically, so I knew that I could keep doing this. I can do this. I will be close to 269 in two weeks, and I'm not making excuses anymore. I will own up to everything that I eat that was off program, and I will get through it. I will survive and I will be thin and fit! :) Happy New Year! Short term goal: lose 15 lbs in two weeks (by January 18th). Current weight: 284

Getting ready for the Holidays

The day is approaching for my family's trip to NC. I'm excited but mostly nervous about flying with my 17 month old on my lap. Nerve wrecking as it may be, I am really excited for everyone to see how much she has grown. I'm also excited to see how my body handles the big holiday meals. I have two houses to visit for Christmas, and so it will be very interesting. I've lost so much weight though, that no amount of food that I could eat without feeling sick, would cause me to gain a whole lot. I'm now about a pound or so away from being in the 260's but that's morning weight. My afternoon weight is 274. I've come a long way, but the battle is not nearly over. Short term goal: Be @ least 269 on Christmas morning.

Zumba!!!

Okay. While I've never been one to "love" exercising, I must say lately I've been kicking booty. On the elliptical, I burn between 1000 and 1230 cals, and when I do the treadmill, I keep it up there too. That brings me to Zumba...The latin infused, hiphop style, workout...I love it! I feel like I'm burning so many calories when I do it, and I am having so much fun, I don't even realize that the hour has passed. It's awesome! Tonight, I lost 2 lbs just by doing the workout! I think everyone should try Zumba.

Burn baby Burn

Whew! Went to the gym and burned about 700 cals. I lifted weights, worked my core, did some reps on the pull-up machine, and walked the treadmill @ an incline of 10. My result...I stepped on the scale, and it said....279.2! OMG! No words. No more words. Gd'night!

Let them eat cake...

Okay, so it's been a while since I posted last. I actually have been very busy with school and other endeavors, but I promise to try harder to post more often. It is very calming for me after all. October's news was short and sweet. I had a birthday, performed my oral story in front of my Foundations of Story class, and made a cake for a baby shower. In two of the three situations mentioned above, I managed to eat and enjoy my former weakness. What I didn't enjoy was stepping on the scale and seeing 288! Carbs add water weight; I know this. I've also been hitting the gym really, really hard, burning between 800 and 1500 calories per trip which makes my body say, "Woah! What the heck is she doing!?"; I know this too. What I don't understand is how something that I had managed to conquer, snuck back up on me. After my birthday, I felt like a crack addict waiting for my next hit. All I thought about was cake. In total, I had probably 7 pieces of cake in the month of October. That's a lot! I guess I'm learning that my weakness can be conquered, but it takes time. I have to take each day at a time. Each time I feel the urge to eat something I shouldn't have, I have to stop and re-evaluate the situation. "If I eat this, not only will I have to work out double hard at the gym, but I will not be burning fat for 3 days." This is the conversation I have with myself almost daily. It's a struggle.

Over the weekend, I did well. My weight was 282 and I was feeling good. Then, last night happened. Some friends came over and what did they bring with them? You guessed it, cake! I was going to pass on it, but it looked so yummy, with all of it's glaze and marble goodness. I couldn't resist. Thankfully, when I woke this morning, my weight was still down, but I have to have more control. I'm definitely a work in progress. Small goal, lose 15 lbs, this month, and stay away from the cake!

The Big 100!

I did it. I actually did it. As of this morning, I have lost 100 lbs! I'm actually speechless. 100 more to go....Small goal of the next two months, get my weight to 250.