Tomorrow never comes

So this is it. I've finally had enough. After years of saying, "I'll start losing weight tomorrow." I realize that "tomorrow" never comes. I must start today. For months I have been avoiding the scale (since I've stopped my South Beach living, which only netted me a whopping 10 lb weight loss) afraid of what I would see. I have this reoccurring nightmare where I weigh myself and see 400lbs. Well I am not 400lbs, and I pray to God that I never will be. However I am the highest that I have ever been. I worked up the courage to hop on the scale this morning, after my morning pee ('cause everyone knows you are lighter after your morning pee LOL!) and to my horror, it read..... 387.4! "Oh no. No. No. The scale must be off," I thought kind of out loud. So I did it again, and sure enough, I am 387. I could not believe it. I still can't. I remember when I was about 11 and my Mom told me that she wanted me to eat better because she would hate for me to see 200lbs. Then the next year I went from 180 to 200. I was devastated, but never, ever in my wildest nightmares, did I picture being 387. So I have made a decision. NO more will I feel sorry for myself. NO more will I look in the mirror in disgust and do nothing about it. NO more will I eat whatever I want and then feel depressed about it later. Sure my Husband loves to buy me lingerie (to be honest I am 6'0 and look quite sexy to him, and myself sometimes), but NO more will he have to shop at the "Big Girl's store" for sexy lingerie. I need to work hard at this journey. NO more games. If I am really serious about my Acting career, which I am, I need to make a change. Today's a good day for change.