Looking past Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving this year began on a positive note. I had a plan, and I had planned to stick with it. Then the feeders appeared. You know who they are. They are the ones who can't understand why or how you will have the willpower to pass up the mac and cheese, casseroles, and mashed potatoes. They can be dangerous. I caved. However I only had one plate, and I stayed away from the mashed potatoes and gravy, measured out my turkey, and overall just felt good. Yeah I gained a pound, but I made sure that I worked out really hard, and I continue to lose weight.
I realized something, running feels good. Really, really good. Granted I can only run for about 1 minute at a time, at least I'm running! LOL

Joined GHFC

Yay! I am now a member of Gainesville Health and Fitness! I'm pretty excited about this. My friends, Pam and Alex have memberships also, so we can all be work out buddies. This will be awesome motivation for me. I am so excited, I'm going to try to work out Thanksgiving day. I have to get this weight loss thing in check again. I was reflecting...my lowest was 269, so I know I can get there again. I am, as of this morning, 311. Yes that's a 42lb difference, but I can do it and more. My short term goal is to be under 300 by Dec. 17th. I can do it. I have to.

An apology...

I'd like to apologize for my previous post concerning thanksgiving day. I was wrong to admit defeat. By saying that I "know I'll be eating" this and that, I should have said that I will do my best. The fact is I'm nervous about the holidays. I'm nervous I won't exert enough willpower to adhere to the plan. I'm nervous that things will look and smell so good I won't be able to resist. I will continue take things one day at a time, but plan a day ahead for what I will eat. I think having a plan in place will help a whole lot. Here's hoping.

A moment of Clarity

I woke up this morning and thought, "Wait a minute! How the heck am I joining the MRC when the holidays are upon us?!" That's like a sabotage waiting to happen! Then I took a deep breath and realized that even if I go off program for one day, I know how to limit myself, and I know how to get back on the wagon. I can't beat myself up, and be unrealistic. I know me. I know I will have, and enjoy some turkey with gravy, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, rolls, greens, cabbage...etc. I'm even making some apple pie cupcakes. Having said that, I will NOT be eating more than one plate of food, and if I can't fit it on my plate, I'm not gonna be able to eat it. Bottom line, no compromising. I can do this! I know because I've done it before. I will never again be that 387lb person. NEVER again! :)

I'm back!

Yes, yes y'all! I'm so excited to be joining the MRC again. I'm going in on Friday to re-join. Let's catch up...Last time I posted (earlier this year) I was newly pregnant. Well we had a boy! Darren Jadon is his name and he is perfect! He was born September 27th and weighed 7 lbs 6 oz. and 19 inches long. I have to be honest; While I'm glad to have my body back to work with, I will miss DJ's kicks and rolls. You know what else I'll miss? Eating whatever I wanted! *sigh* Alas, all good things must come to an end. I am thankful to God, however, that I didn't gain ALL my weight back. I am currently about 324. I can work with that. I typically lose over 20 lbs a month on the plan, so that will be exciting to see the 200's again. It's going to be hard work, but I'm ready! Immediate goal, lose enough inches to button my jeans again comfortably. Long term goal, continue to feel confident and sexy!

This will be short...

I'm on hiatus from the program until after Sept 24th. That's my due date. Yep you read correctly. I am prego. *sighs* I feel good about things now, but it took a moment. I was so into this new lifestyle, and school, that I was not thinking about the possibility of a new baby. I must say, I'm pretty excited and happy now, but when I found out I was scared. I think I was scared for two reasons...1) I had been drinking the supplements and I was afraid it would somehow affect my baby...and 2) I never want to be that 387 lb person ever again. I know that won't happen though, and I know that everything we take (or took) at the center was all natural. So again, I'm feeling better about things. I can't wait until Superbowl Sunday when everyone will find out! :)
Maybe I will temporarily turn this into a pregnancy fit blog. Only time will tell. Haven't done much working out since it seems like I'm always about to puke! LOL
Stay tuned...

I was attacked by chocolate!

That's my story and I'm sticking to it! LOL! Seriously though, I got a monster craving this weekend, and I gave in. The bad thing is, even after I read the nutritional label, seeing that it would be 250 cal for 6 pieces, I was shocked, then unfazed. *shakes head* tsk tsk Constance. You know better girl. That was what the thin me said...but I told that skinny hepher to shut up for a moment and let me have my chocolate! Ha Ha. I must say that as much as I enjoyed it at the time, it didn't really make me feel too good. I think I am going to start approaching things off program like, "How good will this taste right now? How will I feel 10 or 20 minutes later? What will it do to my body? How does this off program item benifit me?" I think that's a healthy approach. Anyway, because of my chocoholic tendencies, I gained a pound. I feel great about this week though. Let's see how it goes. Keeping it going with EA Active on Wii! 30 Day Challenge half way done!

Things are going very well!

I'm pleased to report that this has been one of the greatest weeks I've had in a long time, where my plan is concerned. Not only did I refuse cake, but I also refused ice cream! I have been able to step up my workout resistance level to medium, and have burned a lot of calories. That said, my weight as of this morning was....274! Yep! In 4 days I managed to lose 10 lbs! I just want to keep this momentum going! Yay!

The holidays have come and gone and I'm 10 lbs heavier because of it

Constance's idea of how Christmas in NC and New Years would go: Eat perfect every day, work out and only allow for leniency on Christmas Day and New Years Day, lose 10 lbs and be in the 260's.

What Really happened: Eat whatever and drink whatever I want, no working out because I'm sick and can't breathe, gain 18 lbs and emotional eat.



That's right, I arrived in NC weighing 274 and I left NC weighing 292. I was so upset. Yet I could not stop myself from eating. It started with my best friend's birthday dinner the night before our flight. I ate cake and cookies, and didn't care because I knew I would do "great" over the holidays. The next day, I had lunch at the airport, and something from starbucks, and it was down hill from there. I won't go into detail of all the things that I ate, but I will say that what hurt me was not having a game plan before I left. I don't know what I thought would happen. I suppose I hoped that magically I would have the will power to turn my nose up to the yams, and the ham, and the pound cake. I was sadly delusional. On top of all that, half way through the trip, I decided that enough was enough and I wanted to walk on my father's treadmill. Not 10 minutes after I had been on, I realized that I couldn't work out sick. I felt like someone who had been a smoker for years, and was now suffering with the effects of smoker's cough. It was horrible. So what did I do? Went down stairs and grabbed some banana pudding.

All was not lost though. I have a better understanding of my limits, and the need for game plans. I also have a new motivator. My girlfriends and I are all around the same weight, so we have started a friendly competition called the BFBLC (Best Friends Biggest Loser Challenge). It's exciting! Every Monday we share our weights, and at the end of the month, whoever has lost the most will earn a blouse from the others and a non-food activity. At the end of August, we will get together and go on a weekend getaway. I can't wait!

There was something else that I wanted to point out. I had something happen to me last night that has not occurred in months. I emotionally ate. My husband and I had a disagreement, and what did I do? Instead of writing my feelings down, I grabbed a bowl of cereal and put some animal crackers in it. Then I ate a piece of lemon cake. I probably would have eaten more had there been more in the house. My husband doesn't know that happened, but due to the nature of the disagreement, I was feeling so worthless, and non-caring about what I did, that I grabbed what doubled for me as a comfort and a punishment. A comfort because it calmed me down, and a punishment because I was feeling like a failure for the holidays. However, I'm not a failure. If this was two years ago, I would have jumped off the weight loss band wagon and stayed off. I'm in a different place now, spiritually, mentally, and physically, so I knew that I could keep doing this. I can do this. I will be close to 269 in two weeks, and I'm not making excuses anymore. I will own up to everything that I eat that was off program, and I will get through it. I will survive and I will be thin and fit! :) Happy New Year! Short term goal: lose 15 lbs in two weeks (by January 18th). Current weight: 284