Getting ready for the Holidays

The day is approaching for my family's trip to NC. I'm excited but mostly nervous about flying with my 17 month old on my lap. Nerve wrecking as it may be, I am really excited for everyone to see how much she has grown. I'm also excited to see how my body handles the big holiday meals. I have two houses to visit for Christmas, and so it will be very interesting. I've lost so much weight though, that no amount of food that I could eat without feeling sick, would cause me to gain a whole lot. I'm now about a pound or so away from being in the 260's but that's morning weight. My afternoon weight is 274. I've come a long way, but the battle is not nearly over. Short term goal: Be @ least 269 on Christmas morning.

Zumba!!!

Okay. While I've never been one to "love" exercising, I must say lately I've been kicking booty. On the elliptical, I burn between 1000 and 1230 cals, and when I do the treadmill, I keep it up there too. That brings me to Zumba...The latin infused, hiphop style, workout...I love it! I feel like I'm burning so many calories when I do it, and I am having so much fun, I don't even realize that the hour has passed. It's awesome! Tonight, I lost 2 lbs just by doing the workout! I think everyone should try Zumba.

Burn baby Burn

Whew! Went to the gym and burned about 700 cals. I lifted weights, worked my core, did some reps on the pull-up machine, and walked the treadmill @ an incline of 10. My result...I stepped on the scale, and it said....279.2! OMG! No words. No more words. Gd'night!

Let them eat cake...

Okay, so it's been a while since I posted last. I actually have been very busy with school and other endeavors, but I promise to try harder to post more often. It is very calming for me after all. October's news was short and sweet. I had a birthday, performed my oral story in front of my Foundations of Story class, and made a cake for a baby shower. In two of the three situations mentioned above, I managed to eat and enjoy my former weakness. What I didn't enjoy was stepping on the scale and seeing 288! Carbs add water weight; I know this. I've also been hitting the gym really, really hard, burning between 800 and 1500 calories per trip which makes my body say, "Woah! What the heck is she doing!?"; I know this too. What I don't understand is how something that I had managed to conquer, snuck back up on me. After my birthday, I felt like a crack addict waiting for my next hit. All I thought about was cake. In total, I had probably 7 pieces of cake in the month of October. That's a lot! I guess I'm learning that my weakness can be conquered, but it takes time. I have to take each day at a time. Each time I feel the urge to eat something I shouldn't have, I have to stop and re-evaluate the situation. "If I eat this, not only will I have to work out double hard at the gym, but I will not be burning fat for 3 days." This is the conversation I have with myself almost daily. It's a struggle.

Over the weekend, I did well. My weight was 282 and I was feeling good. Then, last night happened. Some friends came over and what did they bring with them? You guessed it, cake! I was going to pass on it, but it looked so yummy, with all of it's glaze and marble goodness. I couldn't resist. Thankfully, when I woke this morning, my weight was still down, but I have to have more control. I'm definitely a work in progress. Small goal, lose 15 lbs, this month, and stay away from the cake!

The Big 100!

I did it. I actually did it. As of this morning, I have lost 100 lbs! I'm actually speechless. 100 more to go....Small goal of the next two months, get my weight to 250.

Finally!!!

Bye Bye 300s!!! Oh I'm so excited! It took a long time to get to this point, but I'm here. 299.8! What more could I ask for? Oh I know, to keep going! :) I can't wait to step on the scale and see that I have lost 100 lbs!

Slow and steady wins the race...

I know that worked for the tortoise, but I want it now! Just kidding. I can be patient. I didn't put this weight on over night, even though it seems like I did. I am 2 lbs away from being under 300. I can not believe it! :) Last night I did an intense cardio workout. It was fantastic. I felt great afterward, and I woke up with more energy today. Good combo.

This afternoon will be fun filled...Photo shoot with Ashley after work, then Greek dining with Pam and Vickie. Can't wait! New Pic Alert!!! I felt like playing model! :) Just think...this time 5 months ago, I was tipping the scales at 387.5! Amazing! I will never, ever be that person again!

4 week challenge

It's official...I've lost over 70 lbs! My goal for this month is to be under 290. I know I can do it, and to help me out, I have a new menu that I am to follow for a week. It is designed to help get over plateau. I'm excited. I might step on the scale and it say 299 next week. In my adult life, I have never been under 300 lbs. This is so exciting! I need someone to treat me to a shopping spree!!! LOL

319.8 and counting

Yeh!!! I am out of the 320's! Well as far as my morning weight goes anyway. I am so excited. It's awesome that people can see the difference and are commenting on it. It's certainly a confidence booster.
I have a youtube channel now. I think I may do a commentary on losing weight once I get down to 100lbs lost. We'll see. I know that this time next month, I will be under 300. It's an amazing thought. Speaking of amazing thoughts, my daughter will be 1 years old on Friday! OMG where has the time gone? I won't get into how hard the labor was...cause it was HARD...but she was worth it. I just get teary eyed when I think about how much she is growing into a ball of personality. I love it! Of course I can tie this into having lost weight...Kayla requires energy. In play, in taking care of her, and in play. I now have so much energy for her. Everyday, I make it a habit to chase her around the house while on my hands and knees. I roll around with her on the floor, and lift her up on my legs. I'm able to do these things because I have lost so much weight. At 387 lbs, all I wanted to do was come home from work, and take a nap, or sit on the couch. Now I am an active participant in all aspects of my child's life. I want her to look at me as her Hero when she gets a little older. I want her to say, "Wow! My Mommy did this?! Amazing!"
In other news, my Mom decided to wait on MRC. She is going to try the Carbohydrate Addicts Diet for a month. If she has not lost a substantial amount of weight, she will go to MRC. I think she should do MRC but that's just my opinion. I hope that she is successful with the Carb addict diet. I want her to be. I honestly don't care what diet she does, as long as she is healthy and happy. I want her to see results, and I want her to see them quickly and in a healthy manner. That would make me so happy!

65 lbs gone bye bye

I'm just feeling so good today. I feel very motivated. Even though it's raining outside, it's a party in my life! I am so happy to be living right now. I have so many things to live for. The Lord has truly blessed me, and I know that it's just going to get better. :) Here's a pic of me now!

Hooray!

My Grandmother is going to pay for my Mother to do MRC! I'm so excited! My mom really is making a wonderful decision for her life. I want her to be there for all of us. I want her to live to be 90+. So I am thrilled that she called me to set her up for a consultation on thursday. I pray that we can motivate eachother.

In other news, I have lost almost 70 lbs! I have lost 47 3/4 inches! Amazing!!!! My goal is to lose at least 20 lbs by Kayla's birthday party. Her birthday is July 17th, but her party is the following day. That would put me very close to being under 300! July 18th, here I come!

Photo Comparison

I weighed myself this morning, and the scale read 334, so I got inspired to put on a dress and makeup today. Normally I am a nice blouse and pants kind of woman, but today, I figured I would step it up a notch. I took a cell phone photo of myself and decided to do a comparison. Below are the amazing results so far....

My Heaviest! 387.5

The start of my weight loss

Again, the start of my weight loss

Today!!! 53.5 lbs lighter!

Cool huh?! :)

Eye of the Tiger

Whew! I did something today that I am so proud of...I stayed on the elliptical for 45 minutes, burned 696 calories, and went 3.6 miles! I have never ever done that! It was awesome. My best friend Pam, gave me the motivation to push it to 45 minutes. She is so great! I think I will try to keep that up for a little while, and then bump my time up to an hour. My clothes a fitting loose and my pants are really baggy, but I am trying to hold out on getting a new wardrobe until I'm like a size 18/20. My weight, after working out, was 340. I want so bad to weigh in tomorrow and the scale say 339. I am realizing, though, that I can't rush the process. I have a tendency to want things right then and there. I guess you could say I am compulsive to an extent. If there is a deadline, I like to start early, rather than procrastinate. That's because when I procrastinate, things won't get done until the last minute.
In other news, I got accepted into UCF! I will be majoring in Psychology/minoring in Film Studies there in the Fall. I am so excited! Orlando here we come! I feel really good about things.

40 lbs gone!!!

Bye Bye to 40lbs! This morning I stepped on the scale and to my surprise, I was down another pound! I am so excited about how fast and safe this weight is coming off. I really feel that come July, I will be in the 200's! I walked an hour yesterday though because I chewed a sliver of cake that I made, and then spit it out. LOL...
Mother's Day wound up having a good finish. DeAndre cooked me dinner, gave me a beautiful frame to put a picture of Kayla and I in, and gave me a new glass blender. It's digital too, so it's really cool. I can make my smoothies more often! Then he drew me a bubble bath with rose petals, and gave me a massage. I actually felt like a Queen! :) He also apologized. What a great ending to my First Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy mother's day! Well at least it should be a happy one. I have my health, people who care about me, and the Lord. However today has not been what I expected. I expected to relax, be made to feel like a queen. I should have known. A mother's work is never done. This morning, getting Kayla ready for church, I hurt my neck. Then while I was in Walmart I felt like my heel of my shoe was breaking, and my feet started to hurt. So I have a sore neck, sore feet, and hurt feelings. See, I received a $7 coupon for baby formula. This was going to be great considering how expensive formula is. However, at some point during my shopping, I lost the coupon. It's almost as if someone stole it. I wouldn't be surprised. I mean I retraced my steps twice! To make matters worse, I have the most frugal Husband in America, so needless to say he was not happy. I felt incompetent, and inept. It's just frustrating. I thought my mother's day would be going differently. Hopefully the rest of the day turns around.
On a side note, and what this blog is really about, I have now lost nearly 40 pounds. 2 more and I will be there! I can't wait to weigh in tomorrow.

Exciting stuff

Alright, so I submitted two videos to the Breaking Bad contest. The grand prize is $1000, a walk-on role on the show, all expenses paid trip to New Mexico where they film the show, and $100 a day while the winner is there (3 nights and 4 days I think). It's so exciting. Pop recorded it for me, Mom was there to give advice, and they turned out great! Hopefully I get enough people to vote for me.

Down 24 lbs!

Whoo Hoo! Who is that girl losing all that weight? It's me! It's me! LOL! Really though, I wish it was coming off faster. I want this weight gone, like, yesterday. I can't remember if I mentioned this, but I am on a walking team at work. We also do taebo during lunch, and every time I walk, or workout, I feel better. I love it. I think I may be addicted. hmm... Today I go weigh in and have my inches measured. Let's see if I lost any inches. I think I have, but the question is how much? :)

20 pounds is a huge deal

I know I said I wouldn't weigh everyday, but as of this morning, I have lost 20 whole pounds! I actually feel like this is going to happen for me. My body is letting go of the fat, and it's doing so in a healthy manner. I think it is working so well for me because I want this. Example, yesterday DeAndre and I went to Texas Road House for dinner. I new before hand what I could have, I even brought my own dressing and a piece of melba toast for my salad. I had a 6 oz steak (no steak sauce which actually made the steak taste that much better) as well. Well you know the server brings out those yummy rolls. You know the ones, with the slightly sweet butter. Mmmm...I was able to resist, while DeAndre ate them. I just kept saying to myself, "I have been working too hard to mess up on some rolls." I have to think like that. Like that kind of food is a drug. I've been sober from it for almost 3 weeks, and I am hopeful that when I get to stabilization, I want fall back into the same old habits. I will beat this!

Trying not to weigh everyday

It's so hard not to weigh everyday. I'm going to start limiting myself to weighing on monday mornings, wednesday mornings, and friday mornings. Maybe I'll sneak in a thursday weight check. Having said all that, I weighed myself this morning, and I am 369! Hooray! This is working. I'm feeling better, have more energy, and actually enjoy working out. Yesterday I even did taebo during lunch!:) I predict that if I weigh myself on Monday, I will be 365, maybe less. :) Here's hoping!

It's a new day!

Well I have the Will i.am song stuck in my head (that's a good thing) since I was listening to it while I walked. I really enjoy walking. I never knew it would feel so good. I love walking in the mornings when it's nice and cool. I walk at work everyday (15 at in the am, 30 at lunch, and 15 at my pm break). Maybe soon I will try the treadmill. hmmm....maybe not. I don't know, walking for 30 minutes, but seeing the same scenery, somehow isn't appealing to me. But hey, don't knock something til' you try it right? Anyway, I weighed myself this morning, and I am 370. That's 17 whole lbs! I am so determined to do this. My immediate goal is to get to 350. I think setting small goals is important. I saw these really beautiful dresses that I want to get. It was on igigi.com (the dresses are below), and I want to get them in an 18/20 so bad. They are between $82 and $130 I think, but they would be the first dresses in that size that I have had since middle or high school. Come to think of it, it probably has been since 9th grade. I think that year I crossed over into the 20's.

I started the HNS portion of this diet. It's tough. I mean the drinks are yummy, but it feels like you are eating a buffet. This morning I had 1 egg with 2 oz of cheddar cheese, and a slice of 40 cal. toast, and my hns. I also had some water, and I felt like I was going to burst! Funny, but whatever works you know?

15 lbs in 4 days?

Wow! So I've lost 15 lbs already. This is amazing to me. I already am feeling somewhat better. My clothes are fitting better, and I have more energy. More importantly, I'm not hungry. This week kicks off the walking group I'm in at work. Then I will work out tonight, wed. night, Friday night and maybe Saturday. I worked out this weekend, and I actually did the baby and mommy Pilate's dvd I bought 7 months ago. LOL! Kayla (my 8 month old) was not having it. She was much more interested in crawling away. So I did my best with the video, but honestly, chasing after her was a work out in itself. Whew that baby is fast! I weigh in today, so I can't wait for them to see how much I've lost.

MRC

Today I am going to sign up with the metabolic research center. I had a consultation yesterday, and it was very insightful. I am excited about the possibility. Imagine it, in 24 weeks, I could be 80-111 pounds lighter. WOW! I just hope when I get thin, I don't look like an alien. I do have a big head you know. LOL

McCalisters Deli- Mmm Mmm Good

Yeah, good ole McCalisters. I love the place. Great food, great tea. Well today DeAndre (my hubby) and I went there for lunch. I hadn't been in a while, and so I was very excited. I was good, for the most part. I ordered a Greek salad (which was soooo good!), a cup of water with lemon, and a to-go nacho basket. Before you judge me on the nachos, I knew that I would be having some in the afternoon at work, and I would share with a co-worker. So I waited for my food, and waited, and waited. Oh DeAndre received his sandwich, but I guess they had to go to the fields and pick the lettuce, and then go to Greece and get the feta and olives! Seriously, how long does it take to make a salad. But I digress, DeAndre could tell that I was tired of waiting and he went up and checked on it for me. They brought me my order shortly there after. And for my patience they gave me a free.....deep breath....slice of chocolate cake. No no! I didn't eat it all by myself, I shared half of it with DeAndre, and he took the half with the most icing. So at least I don't feel too guilty. I just have to try my best everyday.

What motivates me?

People decide to lose weight for many reasons. Maybe the Doctor told them they would die if they didn't. Maybe they want to see their kids get married. Maybe it's career driven. Maybe it's a vanity reason. Maybe they don't want to be the "Fat Friend". To be honest, my reason is all of the above. Though, I've never been told by my doctor that if I didn't lose weight I would die, it has been implied. Both of my parents were diagnosed with Diabetes last year, so I really need to start taking an active interest in my lifestyle. I want to be there for my Daughter and any future children. I want to be there for my Husband. I want to be able to go on trips with him to Italy, or Greece, when we are 50 or 60. I would hate to leave him, making him a widower because I was too lazy, or cared about food more than my health. As far as my career goes, getting a decent role as a plus size actor is ridiculous. I mean it is seriously laughable. But I know there are parts out there, and directors who are not hung up on size for a role, so I keep going. However, my chances would be trippled if I trimmed my waistline.

I have a best girlfriend and she has been losing weight for some months now. She is now very close to 250. She works out everyday, and is on this expensive diet plan. She's seeing results and I'm seeing her results. While I'm not generally a jealous person, I sometimes can feel jaded. I want to be doing it too, it's just so hard to keep up with her results, when we are not on the same plan, and not on the same schedule. I refuse to be her "Fat Friend". It's not a competion, because I love her, and I want her to be happy, but I repeat, I AM NOT GOING TO BE HER "FAT FRIEND".

Now, I am not a vain person, but I had a dream once that I wore a red dress and was turning heads, and my husband was ready to beat up a guy for staring at me. LOL! Would that really be so bad? LOL! No, but in all seriousness, I want my husband to feel like his wife is HOT! Bangin'! A Dime! I'm just saying! LOL! I know he thinks I'm beautiful, and he's proud that I am his wife, but those feelings can be hightened. I want them to be hightened. So there's my motivation in a nutshell. There's why I'm jumping on this crazy journey I call the 200lb challenge.

Tomorrow never comes

So this is it. I've finally had enough. After years of saying, "I'll start losing weight tomorrow." I realize that "tomorrow" never comes. I must start today. For months I have been avoiding the scale (since I've stopped my South Beach living, which only netted me a whopping 10 lb weight loss) afraid of what I would see. I have this reoccurring nightmare where I weigh myself and see 400lbs. Well I am not 400lbs, and I pray to God that I never will be. However I am the highest that I have ever been. I worked up the courage to hop on the scale this morning, after my morning pee ('cause everyone knows you are lighter after your morning pee LOL!) and to my horror, it read..... 387.4! "Oh no. No. No. The scale must be off," I thought kind of out loud. So I did it again, and sure enough, I am 387. I could not believe it. I still can't. I remember when I was about 11 and my Mom told me that she wanted me to eat better because she would hate for me to see 200lbs. Then the next year I went from 180 to 200. I was devastated, but never, ever in my wildest nightmares, did I picture being 387. So I have made a decision. NO more will I feel sorry for myself. NO more will I look in the mirror in disgust and do nothing about it. NO more will I eat whatever I want and then feel depressed about it later. Sure my Husband loves to buy me lingerie (to be honest I am 6'0 and look quite sexy to him, and myself sometimes), but NO more will he have to shop at the "Big Girl's store" for sexy lingerie. I need to work hard at this journey. NO more games. If I am really serious about my Acting career, which I am, I need to make a change. Today's a good day for change.